The First Day of School...

Last week I was so excited about Kyle’s MCAT scores (we’re still very excited about his scores) that I forgot to talk about my experience subbing on the first day of kindergarten. I knew going in that it was going to be crazy. Subbing kindergarten is always crazy, but the first day enhances the craziness by about infinity.

There were a couple of things I expected to have on that very important first day. Things such as a detailed lesson plan, a couple of parents hanging around to make sure their child was okay, and two separate kindergarten classes (morning and afternoon). 

My wishes were in vain. The lesson plan was pretty much this:

“Dear sub. Thanks for coming. Have the parents help you. Coloring pages are on the back table and there are books in the library that you can read to them. Recess is at 10:45, lunch is at 12:05, and they leave at 1:25 today.”

 Okay, not great, but doable. Then I realized this kindergarten class was all day (all day kindergarten is the WORST!). The bell rings and parents and kids start trickling in. Some kids were just added in so they didn’t have a spot or a nametag. Talk about traumatic! When you’re five a nametag is the most important thing in the world.

While the kids are finding their seats and putting their backpacks away the parents started asking questions, lots and lots of questions. Somewhere along the line the parents realized that I wasn’t the actual teacher (it could have been the sub badge that I was wearing but assuming something like that can be dangerous). A couple of parents were actually upset, which I can understand, being the first day of kindergarten and all.

I didn’t have to deal with parents for long because most of them left once their kids put their backpacks away. After 30 minutes not one parents was left. Not even the parent of the little boy who was screaming and crying bothered to stay.

Kindergarteners are squirmy, fidgety, chatty, and have the shortest attention spans of any living creature known to mankind. I had to change things up every five minutes just to keep everyone together. The only kid in the room that was able to do something for longer than five minutes was Mr. crier. He laid on the floor like a limp noodle and cried for three straight hours.

It was crazy, just pure crazy, but I walked away that day knowing a couple of things that put my mind at ease:

   1)    I never had to go back to that class again

   2)    No sub job would ever be that difficult

   3)    I would never have 20 kids